Day 13. Father: I hate you, I love you

When the outdoor advertising of alcohol at the turn of this year is banned, my father can no longer stand on bus stops. He has been intoxicated for more than 50 years at every turn, but according to his blood tests he is prescribed by a doctor as a young boy. My father is a dangerous example of the fact that alcohol is not really harmful. (In reality, a barrel of home-made wine a week plus the actual booze begins to appear on his bluish face.)

Some school claims that alcoholism is not inherited. I don’t know a shit about the genes, but I know that at least the attitude toward alcohol can be inherited. As a kid I was always having fun while we had guests and everybody was drunk. One time my sister cried when my father was wrestling with mr. Lindholm in the kitchen. I was ashamed of my father only once, when he lost beer drinking competition in some kindergarten party. His drunkenness annoyed me only when he was in so lousy condition that he couldn’t fight me seriously on tennis court.

As a young man I hated and admired my father. I hated his way to eat a hot sausage: his way blow the sausage to make it cooler and his way to gobble it at the same time. (I’m actually guzzling my sausages nowadays exactly by the same method). I admired his use of alcohol. My photo gallery has an image where I am 12-year old boy and I sit in the sauna locker room with my father. We both have big green bottles of beer in our hands. Mun bottle is empty, props. I remember holding the bottle so I could look as cool and strong as my father next to me.

I do not blame you for anything, daddy. The reason for my drinking problem is that the outdoor advertising of alcohol was allowed, when I was a fragile child. LOL, muah, reps! I became drunk, because at the age of five in Helsinki, in the park of Esplanade, I saw two horses advertising beer. What a trauma! Fortunately, all the Finnish beer-horses will be shot dead after the new law on alcohol will be renewed. Future generations, my daughter’s children also, will be saved from the curse of wine. Hallelujah!